Who Am I as a Communicator?

This week’s activities were very interesting and informative in total different ways than past weeks. For my evaluations I chose my husband and one of my friends/co-workers. Almost all of the descriptions I received in all three of our evaluations were word to word exactly the same but the scores were different. Perception is a cognitive process through which we interpret our experiences and come to our own unique understandings (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009). What amazes me is that how would the understanding of me as an individual got to be so similar in all three evaluations. May be it is due to the computer generated system but still scores I got were different and the descriptions were similar word to word. I understand this is an assignment but as a detail oriented person I am curious to know how did this happen and what is the meaning behind this. Often people can come to vastly different conclusions even in the exact same circumstances. This is because each individual organizes and adapts his or her perceptions into existing memory bases called schemas (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009). So this makes me wonder if that my husband and my friend/co-worker have the similar perceptions about me and they adapt me into similar schemas.

In the listening styles profile my listening style has lined up as people-oriented, action-oriented, content-oriented and time-oriented. This basically put the finger right at who I am. I believe that lost time is something that we would never regain in our life time. So I have my own philosophy that I have to better use my time and at the end of the day I need to feel as I have accomplished something. This does not mean that I do not have fun or I put other people to work without letting them have fun. I do have fun and I am the only one who follows this philosophy. “You are empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others”. Yes I totally agree with this statement about myself, because sometimes when people are so strict about rules and not ready to bend a bit depending on the situations it is hard for me to understand why everything has to be black or white and how come there is no chance for gray.

The big surprise for me is the statement I got in the description of verbal aggressiveness scale. “You often resort to character attacks and ridicule when talking to others who do not share your viewpoints. Your aggressiveness may cause anger, hurt feelings and embarrassment, and will rarely, if ever persuade the listener to your point of view.”  This is a harsh statement for me. I have never felt that I caused anger, hurt feelings or embarrassment to anyone. I am not comfortable with any of these words because I strongly believe that no one has the right to make anyone feel angry, hurt feelings or embarrassed. I am not a saint but I try my best to not cross that line. So, now I will have to be extra careful about my choice of words and actions. This is a great learning experience for my own self.

Reference:

• O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. Boston, MA, United States of America: Bedford/St. Martins.

Blog Assignment Week 3

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?

I do believe that I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures. As an immigrant it is part of my life because I am not a part of the dominant culture of my hosting country. Even though I am a citizen of the United States, for the eyes of most people in the society, I am an immigrant, so for that they have certain expectations. To communicate effectively and appropriately in today’s world, you must possess an understanding of and appreciation for people who perceive differently than you do (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2009). So it started as a part of my daily survival in a place away from home.

• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

A central goal of your study of interpersonal communication is to learn how better to relate to others. Some of the differences that contribute to diversity and may interfere with developing relationships include differences in age, learning style, gender, religion, race, and ethnicity, sexual orientation, social class, and culture  (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). I personally believe that my beliefs, culture and background have a huge influence on how I interact in a diverse society as well.

• I believe the first is to remember that every human being is proud of their culture, believes, and values. Because I am not a part someone else’s culture does not mean that I have the right to not honor and respect the person. Your cultural worldview shapes your thoughts, language, and actions; it permeates all aspects of how you interact with society. (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).
• I always remember that I am not on earth to judge another person. I would not tolerate harm to a child or another human being but I still I would try my best to understand another person’s perspective before my re-actions. Try to withhold judgment long enough to gain a deeper understanding than the first impressions allow (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).
• Having an open mind, awareness of differences, ability to ask questions without offending an individual or a family are also few strategies that I keep in mind.

Reference:

·         Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

·         O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. Boston, MA, United States of America: Bedford/St. Martins.

·         Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

• What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

I watched the show “Last man standing”. Even though I have heard that the show was very funny when it was mute I did not feel it as a funny show. I figured that the couple was husband and wife, but I assumed they were not getting along as a family. I thought the young girls were daughters. I thought the dad worked for a store. The way the things were in the store it was clear to me that it was a place for the outdoor people. I would not have figured out the relationships between the children. Facial expressions, body language as well as the couple’s way of behavior among themselves were the reasons for me to understand that they are the man and the woman of the household.

• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

There were plenty of facial expressions shown. They had gestures, movements of body, and plenty of facial expressions clearly showing how they were feeling. Based on the nonverbal communication it was hard for me to get any ideas on the subject matter. There was one girl presenting very frustrated or angry expressions and gestures.

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

The male (I assumed that was the father) was working on fixing a gun. My assumption was that the mother and the father were arguing about keeping the weapon in the house.  My interpretation of the communications was that the total plot was on the subject of weapon safety, or having weapons in the house. I thought that they were arguing about it. When I got to listen to the conversations I understood how funny the show was and how wrong some of my assumptions were. There was an argument about the gun but most of the show was based on the irresponsible behavior of the second child of the family.

• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I am a person who believes that in order to enjoy a show, I should be watching the show from the very first day of it. It does not matter how great the critics are about a particular show there is no chance of me catching up with the show. So I do believe that if I have been watching the show then I would have been able to make better assumptions regarding the plot of the show.  Without having the basic knowledge and understanding of a particular matter the assumptions that we make could be wrong and there would be horrible consequences due to that.

• Write about your experience in your blog, including what you learned about communication from this experience and insights or “aha” moments you believe would be helpful to your colleagues.

When I read this assignment I thought of what goes in our classroom these days. I have a newly enrolled three year old child who does not speak English at all. Not only the child, but the parent does not speak English language as well. During the first week of the school, the mother stayed and watched the classroom through the two way mirror with a staff member or a relative to help translate her questions. Even though she could hear what is going on in the classroom she could not understand it due to the language barrier. I have a parent volunteer mostly in the room that is able to help with the translations in the classroom. She was a great help for this child.  For the families who prefer translation, our building administrative staff or teaching staff is available for translations. Even though it is hard to believe the little girl who had a very hard time being away from mommy for the first few days, adjusting to the classroom from the second week on. After asking plenty of questions and watching the classroom for a week the parent is also feeling comfortable enough to send her child on the school bus now. I tried my best to help the parent and the child feel welcome to our program. I make sure that the parent understands the importance of keeping up with their first language while the child is learning English as her second language. Without the understanding of what is going on in the classroom, I do not believe that particular parent would have sent her child to the program on the bus. Mother watching the classroom through the two way mirror without a translator to explain what is happening would have been similar to my attempt of watching a voiceless show on television that I have not seen before.

What is communication?

Today, communication continues to be a dynamic and multifaceted discipline focused on improving interactions and relationships, including those between two individuals, between individuals of different cultures, between speakers and audiences, within small groups, in large organizations, and among nations

and international organizations, (O’Hair & Wiemann 2009).

Communication is a huge part of human growth and development. Without communication we would not be sending or receiving information at all.  There are talkers and there are great communicators. When I think about the individuals who I consider as great communicators, which I would want to model my communication behavior, a long list of names come to my mind. Maya Angelou, President Clinton, President Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, and Dr. King are few of the famous individuals.

For this blog post I decided to write my reasons for choosing my former director. Even though she is not with us any more she is in my heart forever and her legacy goes on. She always told me, “Articulation matters darling. You are knowledgeable, you have a good heart, just speak up”.  She was a believer in that everyone has a voice and always encouraged everyone to speak up. Her speeches were from the bottom of her heart, but at the same time they were full of facts. She was a great communicator with a short and simple message to the point. She was an advocate for the young children. She never took a back seat when it came to fighting for the justice for the children.  She did not use her communication abilities to hurt or harm anyone but at the same time she made sure her voice was heard loud and clear, so she could achieve the goal that she was striving for. A successful communicator needs to develop the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not in a variety of cultures and situations. Your ability to have a number of behaviors at your disposal and a willingness to use different communication behaviors in different situations is known as your behavioral flexibility, (O’Hair & Wiemann 2009).  She was a leader with great behavioral flexibility and when situations occur I always think “what would …….do?” And I end up with a solution that would work for the particular situation.

She is an inspiration for me and I try to learn from her abilities and examples because I believe that we all need our own heroes who are dear to our hearts, in this journey of life.

Reference:

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.