Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation 

• Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families

Equal rights and opportunities are the base for the American culture. Europeans reached United States looking for opportunities for their religious freedom. Then, why are we discriminate individuals regarding their sexual orientation today? Freedom is not just about one color, gender, or faith, freedom is about having equal opportunities to be who we are and to be able to live freely. If the person is educated and qualifies for the occupational responsibilities I do not believe that anyone has the right to judge and be disrespectful towards that person due the sexual orientation. It is a learning opportunity for the families and for the children if they have never been around a person of different sexual orientation. Once learned, stereotypes and prejudices resist change, even when evidence fails to support them or points to the contrary (Teaching Tolerance, 1999). So I would explain the importance of having children exposed to the realities of the world and if the children have questions we the educators, will address them in an age appropriate manner.

• How you would respond to a parent/family member who informed you they did not want anyone who is perceived (or self-reported) homosexual or transgender to be caring for, educating, and/or interacting with their child

I would try my best to provide the family with resources and opportunities to learn about the different sexual orientations of human beings to understand beyond myths and stereotypical thinking behind them. I personally do not believe that there is justification by any legal process that occupational rights should depend on a sexual orientation of a person. I would explain what it takes to be a loving and a caring early childhood educator and how important it is to have respect for all beings without judgment. I will listen to the families concerns and address them to the best of my abilities to give them peace of mind. If we adults do not plant the seeds of fear in young minds they do not see the bias or fear towards person on any of the “isms”. So I would encourage the family to give the person a chance as well as let them receive the services and learning opportunities that they deserve. Sexual orientation does not affect one’s job qualifications (Safe Zone, 2011).  

   

Reference:

• Lesbian, gay, and bisexual frequently asked questions. (2011). Safezone. Retrieved from http://safezone.fsu.edu/guide/lgb-faq.pdf

·         Teaching Tolerance (1999), “Test Yourself for Hidden Bias” retrieved on 01.03.2012 from,  , http://www.tolerance.org/activity/test-yourself-hidden-bias

Reflecting on Communication in the Early Childhood Field

Dear Colleagues,

Another course is coming to end.

Another eight week session is coming to the end.

We learnt together, shared our wisdom, struggled with our time,

But we are moving on to the next course.

We worked together from far away places,

We connected through the discussion and blog,

It seems we all know each other and are much closer,

We all have one goal and that is to make the early childhood arena a better one for the children of the world.

Even though we are getting closer to the end of this journey

I hope that we all will keep in touch with each other

So we can still share ideas, thoughts and wisdom

I personally would love to keep in touch with everyone

If you would like to, here is my e-mail address    

I wish everyone the best of luck for the next course

I hope everyone would keep in touch

May your vision and goals be successful

May the early childhood arena be the best in the world

Much love and thanks to all the wonderful educators


 venuri.bodara-gamage@waldenu.edu

          This is my Walden e-mail and if you would like to be in touch with me please write to this address and I will share my personal e-mail address with you. Thank you!!!

Happy holidays take care enjoy this wonderful time of the year!!!

TEAM BUILDING AND COLLABORATION- PART 1

“This week you read about the five stages of team development: forming, storming, norming, performing, and adjourning. Consider the adjourning phase for several of the groups in which you have been involved”.

·     Think about which aspects of the groups made for the hardest good-bye.

For me personally it is hard to leave a group after familiarized with each and every individual for who they are. There is a personal bond/relationship already created among the members. The connection makes the members closer to each other as of a family.
It is hard to leave a group in the middle of accomplishing the vision and goals that the group agreed upon.

·         Are high-performing groups hardest to leave?

For me it would be hard to leave a high-performing group because I would enjoy the success of the group. When I see the success of the hard work I have put in as a team/group member it could motivate me to work harder for the better results for the team. As a person who is influenced by strong work ethics, I would have a hard time leaving a high-performing group.

       Groups with the clearest established norms? Which of the groups that you participated in was hardest to leave?

I do not have much experience in participating and leaving groups or teams. But one group that I was involved and had clearest established norms was my previous employment.

·         Why?

It was owned by a former educator. She had all the good intentions, vision, and a great plan. She is a very organized person herself, and she managed a very organized program with very up-to-date rules, routines, protocols and procedures. She was a great leader. Just as Dr .Wolfe explained, the role of a leader also is that they’re the ones who have to represent hope (Laureate Education, 2011). She always represented hope and appreciation of the hard work was never underestimated. The group was a very diverse one and so did the children and families of the program. Everyone respected the differences and valued the opinions. Unfortunately, she had to down size her program. So she decided to move it back to her own home, where she first started. For me it was a long drive and I did not want to work that far away from my kindergartner. So I had to make the unfortunate decision of saying good bye.

·     What sorts of closing rituals have you experienced or wish you had experienced?

I am not a good candidate for any kind closing rituals. I have the tendency of having emotional attachments and at the end I feel sad. But saying proper goodbye is important to me because I believe that the opportunity to meet with the same individuals is possible. When we were leaving the program our director/owner had a get together at her home. She took care of every little detail of the event. It was recognition of service, appreciation of hard work, as well as a saying goodbye. I think it is important to have proper goodbyes because it brings closure to everyone. 

·         How do you imagine that you will adjourn from the group of colleagues you have formed while working on your master’s degree in this program?

I hope that there will be a way for us to keep in touch and share wisdom, knowledge, visions for the best of the early childhood arena. I personally believe that we have an understanding among us and a strong relationship. At the beginning of every course, I look for the names that I am familiar with because of the connection and understanding that I have with my online colleagues. Nothing against the new colleagues, but most of us are working together from the very first course. So we learnt together and learnt from each other so far and this will continue, I hope there will be ways for us to keep in touch.

·         Why is adjourning an essential stage of teamwork?

In the adjourning stage the project is coming to an end and the team members are moving off into different directions (Abudi G, 2011). During adjourning stage group/team members get the opportunity to analyze their success and failures. This is an essential part of the adjourning and very helpful procedure for the individuals regarding the success of their next project. Members may also opt to maintain friendships even if they will no longer be working together (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2009). I personally believe that adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork.

References:

 Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Blog Assignment 05

When I was reading this assignment there is one situation that came to my mind. My friend who is a part of an early childhood program is really frustrated and saddened by this particular situation. She is working towards success one small step at a time. Everyday we brainstorm and try to come up with new strategies to help the child as well as the mother. It is a new family to the program as well as to the state of Michigan. The child is four years old and has never been away from the mother. He is also an English language leaner. Mother is not comfortable in speaking English much but she understands more than she believes. So the communications occur mostly through the translator. He does not let mother leave the room. As soon as he realizes that mother is not in the room anymore, he starts crying laying flat on the floor. Mother does not feel comfortable leaving her son as well. Even though mother is welcomed to stay, she could not stay in the room during the length of the session because she has another child who is a toddler. She cannot keep the baby from running around the room and getting into toys and putting them in her mouth. Mother speaks to the son in their mother tongue and tries to get him to calm down at the arrival, but he wants her to stay, so he cries.

After discussing strategies for days, we decided to have a discussion with the mother, explaining the liability situation of having a toddler in the classroom. The mother did not agree with it much. Then the teacher had a few more meetings with the mother explaining that it is normal for a child to feel sad and scared at a new place but he will get used to the routine, will get comfortable and will make new friends. After two weeks or so the teacher encouraged the mother to watch the classroom from the teachers office through the two way mirror, so she could see her son getting calmed down after few minutes of her departure. Now she is comfortable enough to leave the son in the room. The child is getting better with understanding that the mother is going to come back to pick him up later. It is still hard on both of them on Mondays. I consider this as a win-win solution. The mother is ready to leave the child in the classroom and leave with the toddler. Through such “win-win” solutions, both parties can meet their own goals (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009).

It has been a month now. He is showing great interest in riding the school bus. Everyday he joins the line to go the bus and tries to get on a bus. There is an opportunity for the child to ride the bus but the mother is not ready to let him ride the bus. She prefers him to eat vegetarian food when he wants to eat meat products just as his peers. When the teacher explains to him that he has his own food to eat, he replies that he eats the meat products at home so he wants them (communication occurs in his mother tongue).

 Teachers want to respect the mother’s wishes, her culture, and her beliefs, but at the same time what about the child? How do you help him to understand that it is his mother’s wish to eat the vegetarian food and his mother does not want him to ride the bus yet? How do you encourage a parent to let the child spread his wings?

Reference:

 O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Who Am I as a Communicator?

This week’s activities were very interesting and informative in total different ways than past weeks. For my evaluations I chose my husband and one of my friends/co-workers. Almost all of the descriptions I received in all three of our evaluations were word to word exactly the same but the scores were different. Perception is a cognitive process through which we interpret our experiences and come to our own unique understandings (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009). What amazes me is that how would the understanding of me as an individual got to be so similar in all three evaluations. May be it is due to the computer generated system but still scores I got were different and the descriptions were similar word to word. I understand this is an assignment but as a detail oriented person I am curious to know how did this happen and what is the meaning behind this. Often people can come to vastly different conclusions even in the exact same circumstances. This is because each individual organizes and adapts his or her perceptions into existing memory bases called schemas (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009). So this makes me wonder if that my husband and my friend/co-worker have the similar perceptions about me and they adapt me into similar schemas.

In the listening styles profile my listening style has lined up as people-oriented, action-oriented, content-oriented and time-oriented. This basically put the finger right at who I am. I believe that lost time is something that we would never regain in our life time. So I have my own philosophy that I have to better use my time and at the end of the day I need to feel as I have accomplished something. This does not mean that I do not have fun or I put other people to work without letting them have fun. I do have fun and I am the only one who follows this philosophy. “You are empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others”. Yes I totally agree with this statement about myself, because sometimes when people are so strict about rules and not ready to bend a bit depending on the situations it is hard for me to understand why everything has to be black or white and how come there is no chance for gray.

The big surprise for me is the statement I got in the description of verbal aggressiveness scale. “You often resort to character attacks and ridicule when talking to others who do not share your viewpoints. Your aggressiveness may cause anger, hurt feelings and embarrassment, and will rarely, if ever persuade the listener to your point of view.”  This is a harsh statement for me. I have never felt that I caused anger, hurt feelings or embarrassment to anyone. I am not comfortable with any of these words because I strongly believe that no one has the right to make anyone feel angry, hurt feelings or embarrassed. I am not a saint but I try my best to not cross that line. So, now I will have to be extra careful about my choice of words and actions. This is a great learning experience for my own self.

Reference:

• O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. Boston, MA, United States of America: Bedford/St. Martins.

Blog Assignment Week 3

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?

I do believe that I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures. As an immigrant it is part of my life because I am not a part of the dominant culture of my hosting country. Even though I am a citizen of the United States, for the eyes of most people in the society, I am an immigrant, so for that they have certain expectations. To communicate effectively and appropriately in today’s world, you must possess an understanding of and appreciation for people who perceive differently than you do (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2009). So it started as a part of my daily survival in a place away from home.

• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

A central goal of your study of interpersonal communication is to learn how better to relate to others. Some of the differences that contribute to diversity and may interfere with developing relationships include differences in age, learning style, gender, religion, race, and ethnicity, sexual orientation, social class, and culture  (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). I personally believe that my beliefs, culture and background have a huge influence on how I interact in a diverse society as well.

• I believe the first is to remember that every human being is proud of their culture, believes, and values. Because I am not a part someone else’s culture does not mean that I have the right to not honor and respect the person. Your cultural worldview shapes your thoughts, language, and actions; it permeates all aspects of how you interact with society. (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).
• I always remember that I am not on earth to judge another person. I would not tolerate harm to a child or another human being but I still I would try my best to understand another person’s perspective before my re-actions. Try to withhold judgment long enough to gain a deeper understanding than the first impressions allow (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).
• Having an open mind, awareness of differences, ability to ask questions without offending an individual or a family are also few strategies that I keep in mind.

Reference:

·         Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

·         O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. Boston, MA, United States of America: Bedford/St. Martins.

·         Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

• What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

I watched the show “Last man standing”. Even though I have heard that the show was very funny when it was mute I did not feel it as a funny show. I figured that the couple was husband and wife, but I assumed they were not getting along as a family. I thought the young girls were daughters. I thought the dad worked for a store. The way the things were in the store it was clear to me that it was a place for the outdoor people. I would not have figured out the relationships between the children. Facial expressions, body language as well as the couple’s way of behavior among themselves were the reasons for me to understand that they are the man and the woman of the household.

• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

There were plenty of facial expressions shown. They had gestures, movements of body, and plenty of facial expressions clearly showing how they were feeling. Based on the nonverbal communication it was hard for me to get any ideas on the subject matter. There was one girl presenting very frustrated or angry expressions and gestures.

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

The male (I assumed that was the father) was working on fixing a gun. My assumption was that the mother and the father were arguing about keeping the weapon in the house.  My interpretation of the communications was that the total plot was on the subject of weapon safety, or having weapons in the house. I thought that they were arguing about it. When I got to listen to the conversations I understood how funny the show was and how wrong some of my assumptions were. There was an argument about the gun but most of the show was based on the irresponsible behavior of the second child of the family.

• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I am a person who believes that in order to enjoy a show, I should be watching the show from the very first day of it. It does not matter how great the critics are about a particular show there is no chance of me catching up with the show. So I do believe that if I have been watching the show then I would have been able to make better assumptions regarding the plot of the show.  Without having the basic knowledge and understanding of a particular matter the assumptions that we make could be wrong and there would be horrible consequences due to that.

• Write about your experience in your blog, including what you learned about communication from this experience and insights or “aha” moments you believe would be helpful to your colleagues.

When I read this assignment I thought of what goes in our classroom these days. I have a newly enrolled three year old child who does not speak English at all. Not only the child, but the parent does not speak English language as well. During the first week of the school, the mother stayed and watched the classroom through the two way mirror with a staff member or a relative to help translate her questions. Even though she could hear what is going on in the classroom she could not understand it due to the language barrier. I have a parent volunteer mostly in the room that is able to help with the translations in the classroom. She was a great help for this child.  For the families who prefer translation, our building administrative staff or teaching staff is available for translations. Even though it is hard to believe the little girl who had a very hard time being away from mommy for the first few days, adjusting to the classroom from the second week on. After asking plenty of questions and watching the classroom for a week the parent is also feeling comfortable enough to send her child on the school bus now. I tried my best to help the parent and the child feel welcome to our program. I make sure that the parent understands the importance of keeping up with their first language while the child is learning English as her second language. Without the understanding of what is going on in the classroom, I do not believe that particular parent would have sent her child to the program on the bus. Mother watching the classroom through the two way mirror without a translator to explain what is happening would have been similar to my attempt of watching a voiceless show on television that I have not seen before.